2nd PORT - DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

Actually La Romana, DR, Birthplace to such noted celebrities as… we'll… ummmm… Chucky’s Dentist Dalinda Canela-Pichardo for one, the rest will come to him later.

Sit back with a cocktail or whatevah kiddies, this episode may run a little long

{Hey… we’re tryin’ to get the whole day in here for you to enjoy as they did – or not}

Today’s plan - as directed by Michelle of MD-NK-M&M - is to for the Roll Call to meet at 730AM in the Atrium Lounge to be ready to bolt off the ship when it docks at 8AM and head to the cabs getting us to the SEAVIS tour of SAONA ISLAND  Somehow the Captain DID NOT get the memo about docking at 8AM for us to bolt from the ship and we didn’t dock and begin disembarkation until after 915AM. {Michelle was apologizing to everyone as they arrived – not her fault… The Captain didn’t get the damn Memo}  

Not to worry, being directed to the mid-ship gangway after lining up for the forward gangway, our hardy band of around 24 brave souls bolted {OK straggled} off the ship,  grouped up on the pier and hustled to the terminal to find TAXI CASA DE CAMPO with Trish from NC, who set us all up for a 10% discount in the lead with Chucky and Michelle & Dan herding from the rear.

Of course hustle as we may, we run into all those folks from the forward gangway queued up for cabs, but one mention of SeaVis and the gate swung open for us to pile into several 12 person vans that will take us on a short {25 minute} ride to BAYAHIBE BEACH and return us to the port later.

We were greeted by the Delightful family who run this operation including a grinning 12yr old daughter in control of cab numbers.  We are directed to Ingrid - she of the Blonde Hair, enviable tan and delightful Dutch Accent – who would be our Guide.  After all the Taxi’s arrive, everyone checks in and we get loosely organized, we're herded into 2 – 30 passenger boats {Apparently more folks than the 24 Roll Callers hooked up for this tour} with instructions from Ingrid for those with bad backs, pregnancies, elderly {Chucky didn’t get that note} and those that cannot endure sudden and violent collision of buttocks and boat seat to sit in the rear.  
And of course you know who were the next to last ones to get on the boat, thus being pushed all the way to the front {because EVERYONE else, regardless of bad backs, pregnancies or elderly had parked their tender little carcasses in the rear} Yup, Chucky and DL whose buttocks were treated to a 30 minute pounding on the GO FAST boat over the rough water caused by the New Moon so says Ingrid, of the irritatingly enviable tan {whatevah- it was a bumpy freakin’ ride} to Saona Island. 

Unfortunately for one poor young newly-wed who didn’t like boats in the first place and who had the honor of the very front seat, the pounding was more than she could take and between the whining and yelping proceeded to get sick, followed by a migraine headache.

We arrived at the Island none to soon for her and Chucky's butt as everyone {except those slackers in the rear} hustled to get off this bucking board of torture.

Saona Island is a serene little slice of paradise, with soft sand, clear turquoise water, {Clear -until we stirred up the silt with our shuffling to avoid the rocks} a few chickee huts, the obligatory tchotchke shack, minimalist restrooms, and some gliding canopy tables which DL & MD-NK-M&M quickly commandeered.  It was then that they noticed all the bees 15 feet from the table, swarming around a large bucket filled with something they all wanted, but from which several would frequently stray far enough to freak out Kathleen and Mary… 

“Not to worry,” says Nick “they are non-aggressive - they wont sting, just curious to see if you had something sweet’”. 

Apparently the Bucket is to keep the bees away from the Beach Buffet that will be set up about 15 feet from the bucket.

Time to get wet… it was already HOT, and of course SHE gets all the way out past the rocks when she decides she should be using her snorkel gear, which you just know is left hanging on the canopy table.  Chucky, that Paragon of Chivalry {quit smirking René} was already struggling to get into his fins realizing he again left the Forms in and had to tuck them into his trunks. {quit laughing dammit} is happy to trek back over the rocky bottom to fetch her gear {well it is her birthday week – and he Loves HER So}.

Back in the water with her STUFF, and his now form-free fins, time to try out the underwater camera rig again, but soon found the same glare problem so it was point & click away…sort later… and the water was getting murky from the mild current stirring up the bottom.

After some heavy cross current swimming to the old pier destroyed by a Hurricane in the 90’s to try and film the few fish it attracted, Dragon Lady  signaled it was time to eat, much to the bee’s delight {What… you think they were fooled  by that bucket of Coke and Brown sugar?}

Our Beach Buffet consisted of the usual Islands Fare – Cucumber’s in a tangy Vinaigrette, Roasted potatoes and Red Peppers, Peas & Rice [pigeon peas/sauté rice], Macaroni of some kind,  BBQ chicken thighs, grilled Pork chops, mixed fresh citrus, and a non-descript dessert that didn’t get much play

Food – OK – 3 stars

Beer – Good - Cold & Free {YEA}

Bee’s – Not to worry, Kathleen – they don’t eat much – and Nick says they don’t sting.

Having had enough of the rocky shallows, it was beer drinking time, which the bee’s REALLY liked, but were civil about landing in you cup, except for the one that landed so softly on the Dragon Lady’s finger that she didn’t notice… which started to crawl around looking for that sweet smell it came for… and just about the time Chucky started to warn her, “Mr. Fuzzy I Wanna Sip Too” was discovered between HER fingers and… Bee, Beer, Cup and all was flung - with the obligatory SHREEEEK - allllll over Chucky, the table, the snorkel gear and whatever else was in the path of said frothy beverage. {Apparently strange furry flying critters are not her preferred beer drinking companions}

Now it’s time to get back on the boat for a short trip along the coast through much calmer waters to Piscina Natural or Natural Pool, a Sandbar in the middle of the sea where all the Bahamian Starfish gather to eat the seagrass and multiply there.  Here Ingrid, of the annoyingly Great Tan...  and the boat crew distribute large quantities of Fruity Drinks {more rum than fruit} a Pound Cake & Fresh Pineapple to snack on while she gives a short seminar on the Starfish’s proper handling, their birth as Males – and MIRACULOUS  conversion to Virgin Females after five years to lay eggs for another generation {and just think, there were no Angels from God, or Three Wise Men in this story of sex conversion & virgin birth… hmmmmmm} The LGBT group on our boat got a BIG kick out of this one.

Once back on the boat, Chucky, DL, N&K immediately took seats in the rear for the splashy, due to the proximity of the wide part of the hull, but Waaaaayyyy less bumpy ride back to Bayahibe beach, where we found our taxi’s waiting for the informative ride back to the ship.

Chucky had intended to visit his Dentist’s brother-in-law Carlito at his Island Famous ‘Burger Restaurant DOM HAM but some confusion on the docking and sailing times {the Captain did not get that memo either} caused the tour to be cut short and them to run a little tight on time for boarding so, with Apologies to Carlito [DOM HAM] {and my wonderful dentist Dalinda Canela-Pichardo}…  Next time, we promise.

An obligatory Photo of the La Romaa/Casa de Campo Welcome Monument [even if we were leaving] and we hastened back to the ship.

Dinner at the usual 6:45P with pre-dinner cocktails in the Atrium were the marching orders with maybe a short nap before… {Michelle and DL were fading fast} but First – Kathleen was adamant on everyone gathering in the Gym Jacuzzi for Butt therapy, soooooo all dutifully trekked to respective cabins to dump STUFF, returning as instructed for a squeezing of 6 persons in a 4 person tub for a brief pounding of the aggressive Jacuzzi jets on the middle of the back, buttocks and feet to relieve the pounding of the buttocks and vertebrae dealt by the Bucking Boat To Saona.

Dinner was typical Cruise Fare, {with all due respect to the Carnival Food & Beverage program – not as good as our previous trip on this particular ship – maybe part of the 2.0 rehab is to cut back on quality? – I’m just sayin’ } but wonderfully served by our gracious table  Captain Cristyna and her happy team.

It should be noted that Dragon Lady was having a terrible time getting her eyes to focus reading the menu and was starting to blame it on all the Sun & Salt Water abuse, not to mention large quantities of RUM heavy Fruity Drinks {and no short nap before dinner} when ‘lo ‘n’ behold she discovers that she was wearing Chuck’s Laptop Readers, and not her OWN NEW prescription glasses!!!

Soooooo again, Sir Paragon of Chivalry {Go Ahead... smirk} races alllll the waaaaay aft to fetch her glasses and, with calves screamin’ again from the brusque Trek of Chivalry, returns just at the end of the nightly waiter’s “Stand of the Tray Stand and Shake your Booty” show, so he didn’t miss a thing while wondering after the meal if the Lido Leftovers might have been better. 

The obligatory trip to the Alchemy Bar for after dinner toddies and since Seth was off in the Piano Bar, and the rest of the crowd fading fast, Chucky, Michelle & Dan adjourn to the 70’s Disco to try a little swing dancing.

A Crowd pleasing DJ, managed to avoid a {Yeah Mr Dan… I'll play Mustang Sally – NEXT SONG - PROMISE} request 3 times before a, now switching into Irate Guest Mode, Chucky gets him to abandon the Urban Oriented Hip Hop that had an empty dance floor so that Michelle & Dan can exhibit some Mighty Fine West Coast Swing dancing and a nearly full dance floor – for all of a 30 second cut of Mustang Sally [every other 5 minute dance version of something LL Cool J’ish got full play] – before Mr Crowd pleasing DJ switched back to more Urban Oriented 90’s music {what happened to 70’s night? again… to an nearly empty dance floor. {Carnival Management – Are You Paying Attention here?}

Fading Fast Michelle & and now Frustrated Dan, head to their cabin while, Motor Still Running Chucky heads to the Red Frog Pub where Latin Music Night is in full swing and you know how his motor hits full speed ahead with Latin Music.

But after being turned down by a couple of  Motor Running-in-Place Full Tilt Young Cuties {probably too young}, who all of a sudden “Cant Dance” {at least not with this Grey Bearded old Dude in the funny black hat} and his Motor now hitting Neutral, Chucky heads back to the cabin to crash. 
Tomorrow is a sleep-in day {we don’t dock until 1PM} and the Bucking Boat to Saona, Pounding of the Buttocks has finally caught up with him.

Tomorrow – The Delightful Island of Curacao and its namesake Liqueur Distillery, one of the stops on the Planned IRIE Eastside Tour.

Ciao 4 Now,

Uncle Chuck & The Now Focusing on a Long Nap

Dragon Lady