SEA DAY #ONE

Ok… today’s agenda should go something like this:
Eat – drink –walk around – drink & eat some more – hot tub – drink – snack/drink – dinner – drink – drink – do something silly – drink some more – crash. 
HEY... its a cruise, what did you expect?

Our morning started late {I wonder why...}  could it have been one too many rum drinks, late night NOWAT, sinus headaches… All of the above?

She actually was up before He, but not by much and after a rusty start - since he couldn’t find the room service door hanger {right on the wall next to the GoAway hanger... dummy} they drug their slow functioning bodies {ya think they are just a bit out of party shape} up to the Lido Buffet for breakfast, which as buffet breakfasts go… very well done.

A table by the window {what, you expected a change of scenery? – it’s a cruise silly-} 

And Hey Look...A Rainbow!

and then a stroll around the ship to reacquaint themselves with the layout.

We run in Michelle and Dan who invite us to join them at the Steak House Tasting at Noon, but since we had just had brunch, we declined in favor of exploration but agreed to meet along the way.

A quick check of the Gym behind the Spa and they stumble on a body hydration, De-Toxification lecture that sparked  her interest and when he wasn’t looking the Ever-Lovely but health conscious Dragon Lady signed up for a One on One analysis {make that one on two}

“You need this too.” She says pointing at his ever expanding mid-section-

“For tomorrow after we come back from the beach at Grand Turk.”  

His guess is that after she starts to calculate the daily cost for a plan she still hasn’t heard all of, she'll decide at the last minute that she really isn’t interested and tell Him to cancel.  Talk about your impulse buyer.

Did I Mention it’s a long walk from the Bow of this Ship to the Aft [Front to back for you land lubbers]

A quick stop in the Steak house and we found the whole gang there, just finishing the tasting {we later found a message in our room from Nick graciously inviting us to join them there but we were at the Lido Buffet when he called}

Reconfirmation of meeting times for the Dominican Republic tour with several of the Roll Callers who were also there and a dinner time set for 6:45 {a little better for Chucky} and we were off to change into sunscreen, swimsuits and flip flops for a little lounging in the Lido adult whirlpool.

Clever Chucky slips his Sign and Sail Card into the pocket of his trunks for safe keeping {ya just don’t want to leave stuff laying on your deck chair} and they slide into a less occupied hot tub.

Just about the time he decides she needs another Fruity Drink, he discovers that these aren’t the trunks with the Velcro closing pockets and guess where his room card is??? Go ahead, guess.

Who knows, ‘cause he doesn’t but he knows it has to be somewhere in this hot tub and is about to head to the cabin for his snorkel gear.  After announcing the loss to the rest of the tub occupants, one gentleman – another Chuck we were to find out - says:

“Hey… maybe that’s what I saw floating around here… I was beginning to worry what it could be.”

As Chucky is about to exit for the cabin, the other Chuck {who’s 61^st birthday is Tuesday} says:

”Wait… maybe this is it… I feel something at my feet,” reaching for the bottom and lo and behold… comes up with the card.

“Can you show me a picture ID,” the other Smart Ass Chuck grins?

“Hey…I can use this, at least the first name is the same,” 
as he hesitatingly hands the card over.

The thankful Chucky promised to buy him a drink for his birthday when the waiter came around but by the time the waiter came, "Other Chuck" was gone.

A little lounging, some more fruit drinks and soon the hot sun finally got to her {not to mention the fruit drinks} and a cool cabin and refreshing shower was the next order of business since tonight was Elegant Dining night and we didn’t want to rush getting ready.

We checked with Dan & Michelle for cocktails at the Millennium Bar outside the Chic DR s before dinner but they got hung up and finally showed up when it was time to go to dinner.  As the rest of the gang arrives, the obligatory Formal Night Photos on the Stairs were taken – by us – not the pricey Ship’s Photographer and we all sauntered into dinner.

Once seated – the usually lively banter ensued – The Waiters Sang and the obligatory Lobster and Prime Rib were the centerpiece of the Elegant Dinner menu. After dessert and coffee it was off to the Alchemy bar again to try a few more of their concoctions {did I mention, some of the crowd  CAN DRINK?}  Chucky was about to step over to another bar because they had no scotch for these “funny” drinks but Daniel a most congenial barman Pirated a bottle of Dewars over from another bar for him and all was well in his world.

A late night with Seth in the piano bar followed with Mary keeping the Piano Man on his toes till late into the morning, but by then, the Wacky American Tourist and Ever sleepy Dragon Lady were headed for the cabin – she for nonny-nonny land, he to finish and post the previous episode.

Tomorrow is Grand Turk Island for a short day at the beach and maybe a stop at Jack’s Shack- a local institution and favorite tourist destination where Tofer The Crab Digging Dog is a hot attraction.

Lets see what kind of trouble they can get into there.

Ciao 4 Now,

Uncle Chuck & The Cant Wait to Meet Toffer

Dragon Lady 

1ST PORT – GRAND TURK ISLAND

This is going to be a short stop. In reality everyone who comes this route agree, Grand Turk is not a necessary stop, other than Carnival owns the Terminal and the adjacent Margaritaville bar & pool, and it’s very short stop - 7A to 2P - just time enough for them to extract more cash at the pool and duty free store.  It would be far more palatable to skip it to spend more time in La Romana or Aruba.

But it was a good time to test the snorkel gear, swim goggles and nifty underwater camera pack, and of course a trip to Jack’s Shack.

Getting off the ship is the usual cattle call at security and then the long trek off the pier since they park two ships on either side; you have to walk the length of the pier just to get to the entrance of the “Carnival Cruise Terminal” {Duty Free Store –double price for everything but booze} 
And of course... in her hurry to get off the ship, she forgot her hat and just has to stop in the terminal to buy one {so many hats, too many choices}.
Of course OUTSIDE the terminal - at the straw market - hats are ½ the price of those in the terminal. Oh wellllll.

Ok… since it’s 11AM, just try to find an empty beach chair anywhere on the Carnival controlled property… Aint happenin’. 

After slogging the whole beach in the soft sand {out of shape calves screaming all the way}  Chucky decides they might as well head on down to Jack’s Shack and find a less crowded spot on the beach there and maybe a chair.

Half-way to Jack’s -which, in the distance - 500 meters from the cruise pier - seems to be at the end of civilization - And after passing several other Tiki Bars -
“It’s gonna be a looooonnnng walk back!”

she huffs & puffs looking back to the ship.

“Not to worry dear… just stay by the water the sand is harder,” he chuckles…
{calves REALLY starting to complain loudly}

Jack’s Shack ß{read the story} is pretty much that… a shack for a kitchen and a tiki bar, and a tchotchke shop [built much later than the original shack] the Highlight of which is Tofer, the crab digging dog, good Fish sandwiches, Cold Beer and that special concoction “The Sandy Vagina”.

Yeah, you read that right.  In addition to getting one on the fine sandy beach, the ladies can drink a Sandy Vagina, 
the guys can too J.  Very tasty, though the sandy look in the cup spooked the Dragon Lady until the bartender explained:
"the sand is the Vanilla seeds in the Vodka."
.
Beach Chairs were available @ no Cost and it was time to get wet and try the gear.  Of course Chucky forgets to take the shape forms out of the fins and couldn't figure out why he couldn't get his foot all the way in…Duh Uhh!

Snorkel gear, Check

Swim goggles {for his new Contacts} Check

Underwater Camera case… NOT!

Well, it is water proof, but the glare and thick plastic make it impossible to see what your shooting so you have to just point and click away, hoping something gets framed right.  And if you don’t have the lens zoomed slightly, you get a circle around the pic from the expandable water proof lens, sorta like looking through a porthole.  Oh welllll it was worth a try.  We'll try it again on Saona Island.

Time for a break, some drinks and food, and while waiting for her to exit the too nice to leave water, Chucky hears:

“Come here often Sailor?”

Michelle has arrived with Dan, Nick, Kathleen, Mike & Mary {hereafter referred to as MD-NK-M&M since I’m not typing all that every time} and we adjourn to the Shack to fuel up.

1/3 of MD-NK-M&M is in the tchotchke shop taking advantage of the A/C and the Free Wifi to catch up with family issues and work issues -
"Hey guys… you’re on VaCay… they can do without you for a week"
– says the Dragon Lady who, believing in her own in-dispensability, put in 15 hrs a day for MaBelle [at&t] who somehow managed to survive her retirement. {don’t get him started}

As noted above, 
Fish Sandwich -  Good
Beer  - Cold  
Sandy Vagina’s - well… very tasty 
{depending on your point of view J}

And yes… it was a long trek back to the ship but not as bad down by the water’s edge {calves not screaming as much}

Agreeing to a 6:45 meet for dinner, except Nick who HAS to head for the hot tub in the Gym, everyone else heads for hot showers and a nap {that sun was HOT}. 

Chucky and Dragon Chic, stop at the Lido Buffet for some Cheese, Fruit & Baguettes to go along with some Wine they brought to relax on the Balcony.

A 6:15P, call from Michelle to meet for Cocktails before dinner and we head to the Atrium for a perfectly mixed Bone Dry Dewar’s Rob Roy – Straight Up, Stirred, NOT shaken, Lemon Twist Please - and some Fruity Drinks for the others 

{a little schooling of the bartender the night before paid off} .

Because of the time, the only table left at “Our Time” was a large 10 top by the hostess stand, so we got to spread out a bit.

Dinner was done well, Chuck’s Braised Brisket in Burgundy with root Veggies was done Perfectly, unfortunately his Dysfagia kicked in mid-way and half the meal was left, which distressed the poor waiter who begged to get him something else, until Chucky convinced the poor guy it was HIM not the food.

The customary trip to the Alchemy Bar for after dinner Funny Drinks {Daniel was ready with a bottle of Dewar’s and Snifter for Chucky} before heading to the Piano bar to Harass poor Seth some more. Kathleen delights in heckling him {all in fun} and he handles her VERY well {as all good Piano Bar Guys can}  She and Michelle even awarded him with Bourbon Street Beads, Guitar Sun Glasses and inducted him into the “Kathleen’s Loyal Order of The Flashing Star” with a necklace of the same.

By now it was time to crash… the next day called for an early GET off The Boat call 7:30A in the Millennium Lounge for the ROLL CALLers who were taking the Seavis-Saona Island Tour.

Maybe the Waterproof Camera pack will work better there.

Ciao 4 Now,

Uncle Chuck & The Slowly Fading from Fruity Drinks

Dragon Lady 

2nd PORT - DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

Actually La Romana, DR, Birthplace to such noted celebrities as… we'll… ummmm… Chucky’s Dentist Dalinda Canela-Pichardo for one, the rest will come to him later.

Sit back with a cocktail or whatevah kiddies, this episode may run a little long

{Hey… we’re tryin’ to get the whole day in here for you to enjoy as they did – or not}

Today’s plan - as directed by Michelle of MD-NK-M&M - is to for the Roll Call to meet at 730AM in the Atrium Lounge to be ready to bolt off the ship when it docks at 8AM and head to the cabs getting us to the SEAVIS tour of SAONA ISLAND  Somehow the Captain DID NOT get the memo about docking at 8AM for us to bolt from the ship and we didn’t dock and begin disembarkation until after 915AM. {Michelle was apologizing to everyone as they arrived – not her fault… The Captain didn’t get the damn Memo}  

Not to worry, being directed to the mid-ship gangway after lining up for the forward gangway, our hardy band of around 24 brave souls bolted {OK straggled} off the ship,  grouped up on the pier and hustled to the terminal to find TAXI CASA DE CAMPO with Trish from NC, who set us all up for a 10% discount in the lead with Chucky and Michelle & Dan herding from the rear.

Of course hustle as we may, we run into all those folks from the forward gangway queued up for cabs, but one mention of SeaVis and the gate swung open for us to pile into several 12 person vans that will take us on a short {25 minute} ride to BAYAHIBE BEACH and return us to the port later.

We were greeted by the Delightful family who run this operation including a grinning 12yr old daughter in control of cab numbers.  We are directed to Ingrid - she of the Blonde Hair, enviable tan and delightful Dutch Accent – who would be our Guide.  After all the Taxi’s arrive, everyone checks in and we get loosely organized, we're herded into 2 – 30 passenger boats {Apparently more folks than the 24 Roll Callers hooked up for this tour} with instructions from Ingrid for those with bad backs, pregnancies, elderly {Chucky didn’t get that note} and those that cannot endure sudden and violent collision of buttocks and boat seat to sit in the rear.  
And of course you know who were the next to last ones to get on the boat, thus being pushed all the way to the front {because EVERYONE else, regardless of bad backs, pregnancies or elderly had parked their tender little carcasses in the rear} Yup, Chucky and DL whose buttocks were treated to a 30 minute pounding on the GO FAST boat over the rough water caused by the New Moon so says Ingrid, of the irritatingly enviable tan {whatevah- it was a bumpy freakin’ ride} to Saona Island. 

Unfortunately for one poor young newly-wed who didn’t like boats in the first place and who had the honor of the very front seat, the pounding was more than she could take and between the whining and yelping proceeded to get sick, followed by a migraine headache.

We arrived at the Island none to soon for her and Chucky's butt as everyone {except those slackers in the rear} hustled to get off this bucking board of torture.

Saona Island is a serene little slice of paradise, with soft sand, clear turquoise water, {Clear -until we stirred up the silt with our shuffling to avoid the rocks} a few chickee huts, the obligatory tchotchke shack, minimalist restrooms, and some gliding canopy tables which DL & MD-NK-M&M quickly commandeered.  It was then that they noticed all the bees 15 feet from the table, swarming around a large bucket filled with something they all wanted, but from which several would frequently stray far enough to freak out Kathleen and Mary… 

“Not to worry,” says Nick “they are non-aggressive - they wont sting, just curious to see if you had something sweet’”. 

Apparently the Bucket is to keep the bees away from the Beach Buffet that will be set up about 15 feet from the bucket.

Time to get wet… it was already HOT, and of course SHE gets all the way out past the rocks when she decides she should be using her snorkel gear, which you just know is left hanging on the canopy table.  Chucky, that Paragon of Chivalry {quit smirking René} was already struggling to get into his fins realizing he again left the Forms in and had to tuck them into his trunks. {quit laughing dammit} is happy to trek back over the rocky bottom to fetch her gear {well it is her birthday week – and he Loves HER So}.

Back in the water with her STUFF, and his now form-free fins, time to try out the underwater camera rig again, but soon found the same glare problem so it was point & click away…sort later… and the water was getting murky from the mild current stirring up the bottom.

After some heavy cross current swimming to the old pier destroyed by a Hurricane in the 90’s to try and film the few fish it attracted, Dragon Lady  signaled it was time to eat, much to the bee’s delight {What… you think they were fooled  by that bucket of Coke and Brown sugar?}

Our Beach Buffet consisted of the usual Islands Fare – Cucumber’s in a tangy Vinaigrette, Roasted potatoes and Red Peppers, Peas & Rice [pigeon peas/sauté rice], Macaroni of some kind,  BBQ chicken thighs, grilled Pork chops, mixed fresh citrus, and a non-descript dessert that didn’t get much play

Food – OK – 3 stars

Beer – Good - Cold & Free {YEA}

Bee’s – Not to worry, Kathleen – they don’t eat much – and Nick says they don’t sting.

Having had enough of the rocky shallows, it was beer drinking time, which the bee’s REALLY liked, but were civil about landing in you cup, except for the one that landed so softly on the Dragon Lady’s finger that she didn’t notice… which started to crawl around looking for that sweet smell it came for… and just about the time Chucky started to warn her, “Mr. Fuzzy I Wanna Sip Too” was discovered between HER fingers and… Bee, Beer, Cup and all was flung - with the obligatory SHREEEEK - allllll over Chucky, the table, the snorkel gear and whatever else was in the path of said frothy beverage. {Apparently strange furry flying critters are not her preferred beer drinking companions}

Now it’s time to get back on the boat for a short trip along the coast through much calmer waters to Piscina Natural or Natural Pool, a Sandbar in the middle of the sea where all the Bahamian Starfish gather to eat the seagrass and multiply there.  Here Ingrid, of the annoyingly Great Tan...  and the boat crew distribute large quantities of Fruity Drinks {more rum than fruit} a Pound Cake & Fresh Pineapple to snack on while she gives a short seminar on the Starfish’s proper handling, their birth as Males – and MIRACULOUS  conversion to Virgin Females after five years to lay eggs for another generation {and just think, there were no Angels from God, or Three Wise Men in this story of sex conversion & virgin birth… hmmmmmm} The LGBT group on our boat got a BIG kick out of this one.

Once back on the boat, Chucky, DL, N&K immediately took seats in the rear for the splashy, due to the proximity of the wide part of the hull, but Waaaaayyyy less bumpy ride back to Bayahibe beach, where we found our taxi’s waiting for the informative ride back to the ship.

Chucky had intended to visit his Dentist’s brother-in-law Carlito at his Island Famous ‘Burger Restaurant DOM HAM but some confusion on the docking and sailing times {the Captain did not get that memo either} caused the tour to be cut short and them to run a little tight on time for boarding so, with Apologies to Carlito [DOM HAM] {and my wonderful dentist Dalinda Canela-Pichardo}…  Next time, we promise.

An obligatory Photo of the La Romaa/Casa de Campo Welcome Monument [even if we were leaving] and we hastened back to the ship.

Dinner at the usual 6:45P with pre-dinner cocktails in the Atrium were the marching orders with maybe a short nap before… {Michelle and DL were fading fast} but First – Kathleen was adamant on everyone gathering in the Gym Jacuzzi for Butt therapy, soooooo all dutifully trekked to respective cabins to dump STUFF, returning as instructed for a squeezing of 6 persons in a 4 person tub for a brief pounding of the aggressive Jacuzzi jets on the middle of the back, buttocks and feet to relieve the pounding of the buttocks and vertebrae dealt by the Bucking Boat To Saona.

Dinner was typical Cruise Fare, {with all due respect to the Carnival Food & Beverage program – not as good as our previous trip on this particular ship – maybe part of the 2.0 rehab is to cut back on quality? – I’m just sayin’ } but wonderfully served by our gracious table  Captain Cristyna and her happy team.

It should be noted that Dragon Lady was having a terrible time getting her eyes to focus reading the menu and was starting to blame it on all the Sun & Salt Water abuse, not to mention large quantities of RUM heavy Fruity Drinks {and no short nap before dinner} when ‘lo ‘n’ behold she discovers that she was wearing Chuck’s Laptop Readers, and not her OWN NEW prescription glasses!!!

Soooooo again, Sir Paragon of Chivalry {Go Ahead... smirk} races alllll the waaaaay aft to fetch her glasses and, with calves screamin’ again from the brusque Trek of Chivalry, returns just at the end of the nightly waiter’s “Stand of the Tray Stand and Shake your Booty” show, so he didn’t miss a thing while wondering after the meal if the Lido Leftovers might have been better. 

The obligatory trip to the Alchemy Bar for after dinner toddies and since Seth was off in the Piano Bar, and the rest of the crowd fading fast, Chucky, Michelle & Dan adjourn to the 70’s Disco to try a little swing dancing.

A Crowd pleasing DJ, managed to avoid a {Yeah Mr Dan… I'll play Mustang Sally – NEXT SONG - PROMISE} request 3 times before a, now switching into Irate Guest Mode, Chucky gets him to abandon the Urban Oriented Hip Hop that had an empty dance floor so that Michelle & Dan can exhibit some Mighty Fine West Coast Swing dancing and a nearly full dance floor – for all of a 30 second cut of Mustang Sally [every other 5 minute dance version of something LL Cool J’ish got full play] – before Mr Crowd pleasing DJ switched back to more Urban Oriented 90’s music {what happened to 70’s night? again… to an nearly empty dance floor. {Carnival Management – Are You Paying Attention here?}

Fading Fast Michelle & and now Frustrated Dan, head to their cabin while, Motor Still Running Chucky heads to the Red Frog Pub where Latin Music Night is in full swing and you know how his motor hits full speed ahead with Latin Music.

But after being turned down by a couple of  Motor Running-in-Place Full Tilt Young Cuties {probably too young}, who all of a sudden “Cant Dance” {at least not with this Grey Bearded old Dude in the funny black hat} and his Motor now hitting Neutral, Chucky heads back to the cabin to crash. 
Tomorrow is a sleep-in day {we don’t dock until 1PM} and the Bucking Boat to Saona, Pounding of the Buttocks has finally caught up with him.

Tomorrow – The Delightful Island of Curacao and its namesake Liqueur Distillery, one of the stops on the Planned IRIE Eastside Tour.

Ciao 4 Now,

Uncle Chuck & The Now Focusing on a Long Nap

Dragon Lady 

3rd Port – Curacao - Part 1

Curacao,of Curacao 

that sweet orange liqueur 

distilled on the Isle for which it was named by the Senior Family whose decedents to this day still produce it, will be a highlight of the IRIE East Side Tour – more about that later…

But first, our hardy band of bouncing boat funsters have to get off the Ship {please don’t call it a Boat in front of Kathleen}.

Since we won’t dock ‘til 1PM - it was a sleep-in-day and a lazy one at that.  The Wacky American Tourist and the Ever-Lovely, but still butt sore from pounding ride to Saona, Dragon Lady managed to hug the pillows ‘til almost 9:30A – which for her is unusual.  After dragging themselves from a much needed slumber – yea… the day before really did take its toll - it was time for Breakfast on the Lido Deck.  Then Chucky had time to wrap up the Grand Turk saga with Crab Diggin’ dogs, Sandy Va-JayJay’s and what-all.

The Roll Callers met in The Atrium once more at 1PM {this time Everyone including the Captain got the memo} to await the “Get off the Boat… Err… uh, sorry Kathleen, SHIP”, signal and once again followed the mob headed to the forward gangway, regrouping on the pier to search for the IRIE representative.  After the obligatory Photo at the “Welcome {Bon Bini} to Curacao” sign we found the IRIE dudes, or should we say, several of them, found several of us and after some confusion we all got stickered with a little “I” and herded towards a bus already half full.  
Realizing they were mixing us with another group we convinced Sylvian, our driver-to-be, that we had enough for our own bus but had to wait ‘til he found 4 more brave souls to fill the bus and for the taxi’s behind us to move before we could get underway.

Sylvian was a HOOT, a very experienced and funny Guide, he took us through the various areas of Willemstad, the capital of Curacao and regaled us with tales of:

How the Coral Rock used in the early construction still leaches salt through the stucco of the houses causing the paint and outer layers to blister and need repair every 2-3 years, 
The reason for the multi-colored houses – a former governor declared that all the white houses gave him migraines and decreed that they must all be painted in more eye {and headache} pleasing pastel colors.

It was later discovered that he owned a paint factory.  Crooked Politicians… it’s the same everywhere.

Curacao, first colonized by the Spanish in 1499, Dutch colonists began occupying the island in 1634 after the Netherlands achieved independence from Spain, gaining self-government in 1954 and becoming a Country within the Kingdom of the Netherlands in 2010.

Arriving at our first stop, the Curacao liqueur Plant, and after the obligatory pose in front of the Plant sign - we took the basic tour seeing the distillation, bottling and hand labeling process and then on to “The Tasting” {YEA} of the various liqueurs produced here. 

Curaçao liqueur was first developed and marketed by the Senior family in the 19th century and is flavored with the dried peel of the laraha citrus fruit developed from the sweet Valencia orange transplanted by Spanish explorers. Naturally colorless, it is often artificially colored, most commonly blue or orange, to confer an exotic appearance to cocktails. Recently added flavors are rum, raisin, coffee and chocolate, the mixture of the later two rivals Khalua.  Unfortunately the Curacao Liqueur name was derived from the country’s name and since the Senior Family could not copyright or patent a countries name, other distilleries worldwide are able to produce their own “Curacao” in varying colors and applications. But the “Senior” produced Curacao remains the Original.

And of course, a bottle of the Chocolate is accompanying the Dragon Chic home for her after dinner coffee, the purchase of which took so long that upon exiting the tchotchke shop the Traveling Wackos find the bus is on the move!!!

Fortunately MD-NK-M&M noticed that they where missing and alerted Sylvian to “Whoa Up” as un-phased Chucky and now panicking DL -
{Reminiscent of the wild race for the departing bus in Milan after Chucky lost his hat in the Cathedral} 
- came trotting along. 

Oh… this isn’t the only mad trot of the day, but you'll just have 'til the next episode for the rest of our day on Curacao and to find out what that’s all about.

Ciao 4 Now,

Uncle Chuck & The High Stepping-Fast Trotting

Dragon Lady 

Curacao - Part DEUX

We last found our Wacky Duo High stepping for the Bus at the Curacao Liqueur plant as the Roll Call gang hung out the windows and cheered them on, or was that a few Bronx Cheers they heard… Whatevah.

The tour proceeded around the East Side of the island visiting various communities, 

the Old Jewish Neighborhood {originally colonized by Jews who had first fled to Portugal to escape the Spanish Inquisition} where serious renovations were underway, then through some interesting Government Housing where if you qualify, you can start out in a modest little bungalow and pay according to your means, moving up in size or

buying from the government as your income improves. 

Then came some VERY Fancy places in the "High Rent District" known as the Spanish water area, which is a beautiful residential area on the Spanish Water Bay where they are also building more cruise dock-age,

stopping for pictures of the bay, just before the last stop - the Curacao Seaqarium Beach. 

{Ranked #31-69 attractions in Curacao - by TripAdvisor}

Sylvian gave all instructions to be back in a little more than an hour – Shooting a grinning glare at our Wacky Duo for emphasis and we were off to visit a lovely restricted access area where you can wander around a modified entertainment / Restaurant / tchotchke mall, or hang out at the various Tiki Bars. 

Our group got a bit separated as MD-NK-M&M headed to find the restrooms and then on to the beach area only to be stopped by a guard asking if they were going to use the beach, referring them to a lady from the Seaqarium staff who wanted to charge a fee if they did.  

Not this crowd, they were headed for the shade of the larger Tiki bar and some Snacks, Fruity drinks and a little chill time. 

Dragon Chic wanted to wander the Mall {what a surprise!} only to find it more chintzy tchotchke kiosks mixed in with some High-End Brand Shops, and assorted bars and restaurants, so it was time to find the others, and get stopped by the same guard hustling her for a beach fee {We aint goin’ Swimmin’ Dude – we’re headed to the bar!}as he glared at us all the way to the Tiki Bar {what is it with these people and the Glare!}

MD-NK-M&M getting ready to walk along the waters edge {out of sight of “Mr Pay Me A Fee”} to the nice rocky outcrops for some photo ops, so we tag along for a 
         - pose – grin – click –one more – ok… 

and so on.

By then it was steamy enough to hasten back to the Tiki hut, for Nachos, Fruity Stuff and Free –if not painfully slow - WiFi.  

While everyone’s {read that DL's} noses were buried in their various electronic devices, Chucky finds the bar 4 deep trying to get 1 bartender and 1 bar back’s attention so he spots another nearly empty bar  [Soon to find out why] and hustles over for a couple of Margaritas.  Bad Move. 

Not only does he get a rookie bar back trying his hand at what must have been his first Margarita order - since he kept trying to put rum in it while running between the mixing tin and the hidden bar book or whatever he was trying to read – but after two failed attempts, and Chucky convincing him that Rum Carribbean was not Tequila – Chucky finally had to take over the mixing task almost having to slice his own limes for the fresh press much to the amusement of the few customers sitting around the bar.  What was supposed to have been a quick hop for 2 margaritas took up the better part of 20 minutes.

Back with the crowd:

“Where the Hell did you go?  We thought you might have been arrested for Fraudulent Use of the Beach." She Grins.

“Don’t Ask – The answer will NOT be pretty”

After rustling up some Nachos from the now- not so busy bar -  Chucky snaps a Pic of Dragon Chic chillin' with a Fruity Libation and tries to email it on the almost - Dial Up Speed WiFi – which his Android phone is balking at - and finally sends not one… but three separate emails from two different accounts,  that may... or may not have gone out.  Hopefully one got through.

Time to head to the Bus – as he whines:

‘Hey Wait… I still got Nachos here!!!”

“Too Bad”“ She glares… I ain't running again!”

Welllll... they didn't but 2 other couples did as Sylvian gave them the obligatory but grinning Glare of Doom and we were off to Downtown Willemstad for a little sightseeing, and maybe dinner.

Michelle and Mary had thought we were being dropped off near Mikve’ Isreal-Emanuel - the Oldest Synagogue in continuous use in the Western Hemisphere commonly known as the Snoa  {short for esnoga, an old Portuguese and Ladino word for synagogue} but Sylvian had to get back to pick up another tour group.

Soooo we got directed towards our destination over the Queen Emma Bridge {the largest floating pontoon bridge still in operation. {Ranked #2 of 35 attractions in Willemstad by TripAdvisor}

This bridge is pretty nifty and of course we are a little more that halfway across when the Buzzer and Bell goes off, the Orange flag goes up and the bridge starts to swing open to let a Tug Boat pass… everyone is hustling for the other side except for… Guess Who – DL has stopped to take a picture, oblivious to the bells and flags and suddenly she is galloping full tilt as the gap between the shore side and the floating bridge is getting larger.

Now she is REALLY BOOKING it as Chucky reaches over to help her LEAP – yeah LEAP over the widening Chasm, red faced and out of breath.  His only regret is that his pocket camera was just that, –in his pocket and off – as the look on her face at full gallop was PRICELESS…

“And I thought you weren't gonna run any more today.”  He snickers.

“Watch it Smart Ass!”  She huffs and puffs at him.

Fortunately Michelle had downloaded and printed a rudimentary map to the Synagogue from the bridge and we found it without too much of a hassle.

Unfortunately it was already closed for the day but…

- Pose – Grin – Click – Again… One more – etc…

And we were off to see that other fun we could find.

- Pose – Grin – Click – Again… OK…Next

Earlier, we had asked Sylvian for dining recommendations – we wanted to eat where the Locals Eat, not the tourist spots, but he advised that the Locals finish eating around 2PM, and since it was now well after 4PM those places were closed.  He did recommend a Local, somewhat touristy spot, Gouverner de Rouville considered one of the better spots in town on the river that had several local dishes. {Ranked #11 of 126 Restaurants in Willemstad by TripAdvisor}   

After striking out at a the Iguana and Iguana Too - a Waterside café/Bar - we decided to cross back over the bridge and see what De Gouverner {as the locals call it} was all about.

And…of Course… you know what’s coming next…

Yup…Middle of the Bridge… Buzzers – Bells – Flags - as half the group rushes to the far side and out through the rapidly closing iron gate.  And Yes… you know who jumps the gap again but is stuck behind the already closed gate because she was taking more pictures.  The gate is controlled by the bridge tender so she and several others had to wait on the bridge side of the bars while the safe 1/3^rd of MD-M&M, {N&K had split back to the boat earlier} made funny faces at our traveling Wackos.

Since this got a bit longer than planned    [Yeah… right -  He’s just plain wordy] we’ll leave you hangin’ on the bridge with them and fill you in on dinner etc in the next installment - 
Curacao – Part Trois

Uncle Chuck & The Gettin’ Damn Tired of this Bridge

Dragon Lady